It turns out I just needed a week-long break. A mere seven days to make me realize how much I enjoy getting on the Internet and telling the world about how wonderful my family is. Though while I was on my short sabbatical, I analyzed where my stress was coming from. I think my stress stemmed from the fact that I didn't feel like I was doing this for me. I was doing it for family and friends and strangers alike, which has some value and does create joy for others, but it caused some strife for me because I was censoring myself. There are things I wanted to put out there, but felt I couldn't for fear of being judged by the people I knew in real life. (Ahem. See Parenting Hypocrisy.)
If I want to continue this blogging thing for me, I thought to myself, then what do I want to do differently? I do enjoy putting up cute pictures of my boys because they are the center of my world (all three of them) and I like having a way to document their days and lives... but I could just as easily do that in a baby book. In one of the many I already have that are blank because why would I do a blog AND a baby book? There isn't enough time in the day for both.
Do I want to practice my writing composition skills? Negative. I never really had any of these "skills" to practice in the first place.
Do I want a place to hone my comedic edge? If you know me, then you just laughed at that statement... how ironic. Anyway, no. I'm happy with my corny one-liner jokes.
And I decided that if I'm going to continue doing this, I'm going to be honest about who I am. Sure, I'll still put up funny pictures and stories about the boys, but I'm interested in making this more introspective as well. I enjoyed writing that Parenting Hypocrisy post and I want to do more of it. It's a nice way for me to think through this parenting (and life) thing and get honest feedback from other people. So you think I'm crazy for not pretending Santa is real? Well, then tell me. Just know that I'm not going to be shamed into doing something I think is wrong. Regardless, it'd be nice to know how you feel about the topic, since I think people are a little too afraid to say judge-y things in real life.
So. Here we are. Hi. My name is Kelly. And I'm an anarchist.
Boom.
I love you Kelly!
ReplyDeletehooray! i knew i'd be rewarded for checking back here. glad your breather went well.
ReplyDeletei don't think you're crazy on the santa front at all, but i'm way too selfish to go that route. christmas is my absolute favorite time of year, and i have nothing but fond memories of the santa fun times - the excitement and anticipation, discovering the half-eaten cookies, telling him that i wanted a new bike, the whole charade. how those sustained fictions impacted my adult honesty/dishonesty, i can't say, but i can highly recommend the fascinating essay "why kids lie" in the book "nurture shock" - have you read it?? i just finished it, and it's awesome.
oh SNAP ;-)!
ReplyDeleteI struggle with all of this in my bloggin life. I think it is normal to change as you go. Sometimes I think I am too artsy in my blog with all my poetic mumbo-jumbo like when my sister says, "I stopped reading your blog...I just don't get it." That makes me really sad. But at the same time, I like writing like that sometimes. I like that creative outlet. And I'm pretty sure like 2 or 3 people in the universe like it too, which isn't that valuable then? Or sometimes I think I embarrass my family with my oversharing (well especially my husband's family. And then, like you, I step back. But I always seem to come back. I don't know. Release? I think I have changed how I blog over the last couple years. But mostly I feel like it is all over the place and sometimes I care and sometimes I don't. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am think I know how you feel. is this too long? yup. ok i'm gunna stop spamming your comment section now.