I'm THAT parent...

... that bribes their kid with food. Yes, there were many things I said I'd never do as a parent and I've probably done about every single one of them... including bribing Johnny with sweets. See, now that I'm a mother of two, I have way more things to do and less time (and patience) to do them. I used to spend a good 20 or 30 minutes coaxing Johnny into the house from the front yard. Now? When I want him in the house, I want him in the house ten seconds ago. Usually because Hank needs feeding, but it could also be because I have to eat something before I collapse or I haven't gotten a chance to use the bathroom all day and my bladder is now approaching critical mass... but I digress.

So I got a Costco-size container of Jelly Belly jelly beans. Mind you, I bought this delectable "food" because I like to have something sweet after dinner and now that I'm no longer pregnant, I should be watching what I'm eating. No more eating brownies with reckless abandon. Then, I decided to see if Johnny liked them. Looking back, that was a stupid experiment. They're pure sugar, of course he's going to like them. He liked them so much that he instantly learned the word "bean" and will chant it eerily every time I open the pantry. A couple of days ago I was trying to get Johnny in the house while dealing with a squirmy, hungry Hank, but Johnny kept running away in the hopes I would chase him. This is when I said, "Hey Johnny, if you come inside now, I'll let you have FIVE jelly beans." Johnny stopped suddenly, turned around, put up five fingers and said, "FIVE?!" I replied in the affirmative and watched him race into the house. I've never seen him go into the house so willingly and so quickly before. It was awesome.

On the bright side, while I may be filling my kid with empty calories, it's a great chance to practice his colors. Thank you Jelly Belly, for making such vibrant colored (and small) candies.