Clash of the Circadian Rhythms

You know how some people are night people and others are morning people? Well, I'm a day person. I have never been good at staying up really late or getting up really early. Or both, for that matter. I tend to do most of my productive work starting at 8:30pm and do best going to bed at 11pm and getting up around 7am.

Well, my boys are not day people. Johnny is most definitely a night person, I mean, as much of a night person as a two-and-a-half year old can be. He's much happier going to bed around 8:30pm or 9pm and getting up around 6:30am (though on those rare days he wakes up at 7:30am he's REALLY happy).

And Hank? Yep, you guessed it. He's a morning person. He likes to go to bed at 6pm and wakes up at 5am like clockwork. Obviously, he doesn't sleep all of those hours yet, but this is just a general overview.

So that means that with Johnny going to bed at 9pm and Hank getting up at 5am, John and I get squeezed in the middle. After Johnny goes to bed and we spend a few precious minutes talking about our days while cleaning up the house/getting sippy cups filled for tomorrow/doing laundry and then try to go to bed at a decent hour.

I can only hope that Hank will eventually decide nighttime is awesome and start to go to bed a little later so that we can put Johnny and Hank down around the same time in the evening and they'll get up later in the morning.

I'm not even sure how this works with three kids' (or more) circadian rhythms to work around. It must be hell.

But the two I have sure look adorable when they sleep.

Our current sleep situation

I know that all parents complain about sleep and, most likely, the lack thereof (I'd like to meet the parent that's complaining about too much sleep, though, and give them a good punch to the side of the head). I've been complaining about sleep for awhile now since Hank and Johnny both went haywire after our Christmas trip. However, things are FINALLY looking up!

I spent all of last week doing some sleep training with Hank for naps and nighttime and guess what? Today he took two naps IN HIS CRIB and fell asleep without me having to do anything!!!!!! ::cue inspirational music:: With Johnny, we did cry it out/Ferber and while that did get him sleeping more, it never really worked for his naps. So this time around, I followed the Baby Whisperer almost to a T. The only thing I did differently from the book is wear Hank in a sling for naps, but with another kid to take care of, it was necessary. This week, I worked on weaning Hank from the sling and while it was difficult, I liked this method better than cry it out because I was there with Hank so he never felt abandoned. It made me feel better about the whole process.

So yeah. This was the first week in the last (nearly) 9 months that I didn't wear Hank in a wrap for over three hours per day. Pretty awesome.

In other news, I put the kabosh on television watching for Johnny in an effort to get him to go to bed before 10pm each night. And guess what? It's working! Most nights he's in bed by 7:30 and asleep by 8pm at the latest. This has led to a much happier toddler, not mention happier parents as well! The only thing that is missing now is Johnny's nap, which he still needs, but refuses to take... unless, of course, he's in the car at the perfect time and restrained from any movement or he's being held by Daddy at the grocery store... then he passes clean out:

He fell asleep in the car and I managed to get him into his bed without completely waking up.

Hopefully this means more time for blogging and uploading pictures to my Shuttercal Photo-a-Day project!

The time I had a bad idea.

As many of you are well aware, the boys aren't sleeping too well these days. Johnny's still going to bed around 9pm and getting up about 5am. Now, by adult standards, 8 hours is a lot. But by toddler and Johnny standards? Not enough. Especially considering that he would sleep for 11 - 12 hours a night in his crib.

So at the end of last week, I thought we should try the Walk In/Walk Out technique (from the Baby Whisperer) to get Johnny to fall asleep without needing one of us to rub his back for two hours. The first night? No problem. I did the bedtime routine, got Johnny into bed by 7:40 and was out of his room by 7:50. He started crying for me to rub his back, so I went in, put my hand on his back, gave him a kiss, said "good night" and walked out. He cried again, so I did the same thing. This went on for about fifteen minutes and then he conked out! Yes, the child that seemed to need Daddy to rub his back for hours on end in order to fall asleep actually fell asleep at a reasonable hour without parental intervention. VICTORY! The next night, however, didn't go so well. He kept getting out of bed, turning on his light, turning off his fan, anything but staying in bed. After quite awhile, John ended up going in there to rub Johnny's back again until they both fell asleep. *sigh*

On Saturday, I suggested we let him decide when to fall asleep. John's parents said that they never had set nap times or bed times, they just let their kids fall asleep wherever and whenever and it worked well for them. What could it hurt? Let's give it a try.

Um... wow. It certainly didn't work for us. Instead of slowing down as the hour got later, Johnny just got more and more worked up. I finally went to bed around 10:30 because I still get up with Hank every two and a half hours. So John stayed up. Until 1 in the morning. ONE AM!! The only reason Johnny fell asleep at 1am is because John finally coaxed him into bed and rubbed his back for a little while. He could well have been

So John was rather irritable the next day after getting about four hours of sleep since he still woke up at 5am. Johnny slept in until 7am, but after getting six hours of sleep, he was pretty difficult to deal with all day. At least he went to bed at 7:30 that night with minimal fuss.

The silver lining here? Now we know that Johnny isn't the kind of kid who falls asleep even though he's tired. It's good to know your kids, right?

Daylight Savings Time + Two babies = Seventh circle of hell

I used to look forward to the whole "fall back" thing. An extra hour of sleep? HELL YES! I'd go to sleep at the usual time only to wake up the next morning feeling more refreshed than I had in ages.

If you're a parent, you know that shiz is totally over.

Normally, Hank and Johnny wake up around 6:30am or so. After the time change? 5:30am. Except that Hank decided THAT WASN'T EARLY ENOUGH and woke up at 5am on Sunday. Granted, he was being sweet and adorable, so I didn't mind too much.

After that, it's all been downhill. Since Hank woke up so early that morning, he wanted to go to bed for the night at 4:30pm. Normally he's in bed between 6:30pm and 7:00pm. I wasn't about to let him go to bed that early only to wake up at 3:30am. So I kept him up and tried to get him to take an extra nap... which resulted in 20 minutes of extra sleep and two hours of extra screaming and crying. Now, Hank is an angel baby, so imagine my shock when he begins screaming at the top of his lungs around 5:30pm on Sunday... I thought he had Ebola or something. But no. No hemorrhagic fever, just overtiredness. He eventually went to sleep, but it was fitful at best, resulting in me getting up to soothe him every hour or so in the night. The next day he was grumpy, out-of-sorts and all around fussy from being so tired... and I was too. Johnny also hasn't been sleeping as much (also because the recent transition to his big boy bed) so his fuse was short.

I think we hit rock bottom yesterday afternoon when I took the humidifier away from Johnny and he had a meltdown from frustration and exhaustion. Johnny's cries woke up Hank, who then proceeded to scream and cry from frustration and exhaustion. And there I was, in the middle of it and feeling helpless, so I cried from frustration and exhaustion.

However, I think we're on the upswing. Hank has napped normally today and at his usual times while Johnny went down relatively easily for his nap and has been a good boy all day. Hopefully this means that Hank will sleep longer than 45 minute segments and go back to his normal happy self.

Daylight Savings Time: Suck it.

Why, hello, 4 month sleep regression!

Remember that time I said that Hank was sleeping pretty well at night? Waking up at 1am and 5am and then up for the day at 7am? Well, that's over and done with.

Now he's going down at 7PM, waking at 11PM and then every 45 minutes to an hour after that. It's been a pretty brutal couple of weeks. You'd think it would be harder to deal with since I have a toddler to chase, but Johnny actually kind of makes things easier.

For one thing, I'm not bored and therefore miserable during the day thinking about how tired I am; it's go-go-go all the time. For another, since Johnny did the same non-sleeping thing at the same age and now sleeps awesome at night and takes a good afternoon nap, I know that Hank's lack of sleep will end eventually. Tomorrow? Probably not. A month from now? Not likely. In six months? Now we're talking.

It just goes to show that no matter what I do, I'm effed in the sleep department. I can follow what the sleep experts say to do (like I did with Johnny) and end up with a non-sleeper. I can do what my instincts tell me to do (like I've done with Hank) and end up with a non-sleeper. Oh well.

The Daytime Sleep Situation

The nighttime sleep situation is still about the same as it was when I blogged about it last week. Except that now I put Hank down at the same time John is putting Johnny down... and I put Hank down drowsy, but awake. See, when the pediatrician told me to do this with Johnny, I looked at her like she was crazy. Johnny would never put himself to sleep even when drowsy. And if he fell asleep on the boob, I wasn't about to wake him up again. "ARE YOU MAD WOMAN?!?!" I wanted to ask, but I merely smiled and nodded. This time? I'm doing it and Hank actually falls asleep by himself in his crib around 7:30PM and stays there until midnight-ish. Yeah, it's awesome.

Daytime, though? It's a pickle. Hank's a snuggler, there's no denying that, so his favorite place to sleep is next to me. Therefore, I've been packing him up in the ring sling and letting sleep there. He actually has some nicely formed naps; one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one in the evening, like the books say babies should sleep. The only issue is that he won't go anywhere else. The swing? For a ten minutes, tops, and that's after crying for a good fifteen minutes (usually when I'm putting Johnny down for a nap or doing something else Johnny-related... I'm not having Hank cry it out at 7 weeks old). The bed/crib? He'll sleep there for a little while in the morning.

For now, this arrangement doesn't bother me for a few reasons.
1- He's still pretty light.
2- He's still a newborn and trying to get through the "fourth trimester" as coined by Dr. Karp.
3- It means that Johnny and I can go places without being tied to the house by Hank's sleeping schedule. I can't even imagine how pissed Johnny would be if we had to stay inside all morning while Hank was napping? Melt down doesn't even cover the degree of tantrum that would be going on.

And really? As a second-time parent I know that any bad habits I start now can most likely be broken later so I shouldn't sweat it.

The Night Sleeping Situation

When Johnny was 5 weeks old, I moved him into his own crib because he outgrew the nest he was sleeping in. I didn't want him to get used to sleeping in our bed and start a bad habit.

This time around? Forget it. Hank sleeps in bed with me and John so that I can nurse him whenever he needs it. I nurse him on my side until we both fall asleep. Then he wakes up a few hours later, I roll over, feed him on my other side and fall asleep. Rinse and repeat. Yes, I may be forming a bad habit with him nursing to sleep and needing to be next to me all night, but you know what? I sleep a good seven to eight hours a night (if not more) and actually feel somewhat rested the next day. Plus, Hank is pretty good at sleeping at night and has been for some time; more than I can say for Johnny at the same age!

Cosleeping definitely isn't for everyone, but it's working for us... remind of that when I'm complaining about how Hank won't sleep in his crib a couple of months from now.

Daylight Savings Time and its effect on the sleeping child

Most adults hate the "spring forward" part of DST, right? You lose that one precious hour of sleep and it throws your day off since outside it looks like it's 11AM, but it's actually noon. Since the "fall back" part of DST was AWFUL for Johnny, I had expected the spring forward to be just as miserable. I was fully prepared to adjust bedtime over the span of a week so he could get back to a normal nighttime sleeping pattern. I had readied myself to deal with a toddler who would not go down for a nap because we missed his napping window. I had prepared for war... and did not need any of the preparations I had made.

He slept for 13 hours at night from Sunday to Friday. Yeah, THIRTEEN HOURS of glorious sleep! Plus, he even took a three hour nap most days. For those who haven't done the math yet, that is 16 hours of sleep a day. I'm not expecting this to become a pattern, but it was pretty awesome to actually sleep past 6:15AM and to have a child who was ridiculously happy about life every day.

Thank you, Daylight Savings Time, you have redeemed yourself this spring. Please consider staying this way and just bypassing the "fall back" portion of the cycle.

P.S. As I write this, Johnny is happily hanging out in his crib talking to himself. Yes, it is 9:36AM and he woke up fifteen minutes ago and has not made any fuss. WHO IS THIS KID?!

Sleeping through the night?

A couple of weeks ago, I had a revelation. When I went in to Johnny's room at 10:30pm, after he woke up for the first time (this is relatively normal) I noticed he was burying his face in the mattress and throwing his legs to the side. Now, he's done this before, and I've just chalked it up to him trying to settle himself. Well, this time, I tried putting him on his tummy and Wham! He was out. He stayed out until 7am the next morning. SEVEN O'CLOCK! It was glorious. It got even better when the next night, instead of putting him on his back as per usual, I put him on his tummy. Wham! Asleep. All the way up to 6:30 the next morning. He has NEVER done that before. Usually when I say he's "sleeping through the night" it means that he will go down at 8pm and wake up around 4am to eat. Well, this time, I had two REAL nights of sleep. Absolutely amazing.

And that was it. Every night since he as awakened at least twice during the night (every 2.5 to 3 hours on a bad night) whether he is on his back or his tummy. *le sigh* I just don't get it. Perhaps one day, preferably before he goes to college, he will reliably go to sleep and stay asleep until 6:30am. One day.

This is typical naptime for Johnny. Asleep in the swing with the vacuum noise going. The ball is new though... I couldn't get it from him without waking him so he just slept with it in his hand.

Ode to Dr. Ferber

Johnny has sleep issues. He doesn't nap longer than 45 minutes, he wakes up at least twice a night (but he isn't hungry), and getting him to sleep at night is a test of will of patience. Normally, John will change his diaper and get him into pajamas while playing quietly with him then hand him off to me so I can nurse him to sleep. About 45 minutes to an hour later, I quietly get up from the chair, tiptoe to the crib, gently lay him down, and pray that he will stay asleep. If he doesn't, then I sit back down and nurse him some more. Needless to say, this is a very long process which not only I protest, but my poor abused nipples do as well (sorry, that might have been TMI... eh, whatever).

So this week, on Mother's Day, John and I embarked on a journey with Dr. Ferber, author of Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. I read the book about a month ago, but didn't have the heart to start "Ferberizing" until now. For a long time, I thought Johnny was just hungry at night, but then I stopped nursing him at night and just focused on getting him back to sleep and he was fine. He was just waking up and needed help from me. Well, it is nice to be needed, but I've heard horror stories from other moms who are still getting up with their children twice a night at age 2. I'm already delirious and snippy from the lack of sleep in the last five months, can you imagine what kind of a b*tch I'd be after two years of interrupted night sleep and no naps? Exactly. And so enters Dr. Ferber.

Dr. Ferber is not a proponent of "cry it out" like so many people think, but he does think that it's difficult to teach a child to sleep without a little crying. So, he suggests a "check and console" method where you check on your child after a certain interval of time to let them know that you are there and not abandoning them. You check in increasing intervals of time throughout the evening. For instance, start with 3 minutes, then 5, 7, 10 and continue to go in every 10 minutes. The next night do 5, 10, and 15 minutes, etc. Eventually your child will get the idea that you're still there, but you're not a "sleep prop" anymore.

We started on the night of Mother's Day (ridiculous, right?) and he cried for 45 minutes after we put him down (we were checking on him during those 45 minutes). The next night, we put him down and there was NO CRYING! Whoo-hoo!! So here we are, a few days later, and he will cry and whimper for a few minutes and then he's done and asleep. The night wakings have gotten better, too, as I haven't even had to go into his room when he wakes up; he'll just yell for a little bit and then pass out. AND to top it off, his naps have gotten better! We actually have three solid naps a day! The first one is 2.5 - 3 hours long, the next is 1.5 - 2, and the last is 1 hour. And guess what? They happen about the same time every day!!!!! Hello routine, I have missed you dearly.

All of this sleeping adds up to him being an incredibly happy baby when he is awake. The evenings are joyous and full of smiles instead of tortured cries from an overtired baby. WIN!