At some point you just have to laugh.

A couple of days ago, Johnny wanted to go to Cardiff (San Elijo beach) so we could watch the trains that go by. Well, we tried to go in the morning, but the boys were too distracted by all of the stuff at our house, which was fine until it was Hank's nap time and then it was a HUGE deal. My children do not understand the concept of time. So I said we would go after Hank's nap. I generally don't do afternoon outings because the boys tend to be tired, way more stubborn than usual, and unsympathetic to my desire to go home and make food for dinner... but Johnny was so sad we didn't get to see trains that I couldn't say no.

Hank woke up and we packed up and shipped out to Cardiff around 2:30pm. We parked and walked over to the Kook and sat, waiting for the trains that came about every 45 minutes, as is our custom.

Walking along the garden path from our car to the Kook statue.

Then Johnny said he wanted to go play with sand... which is a rare occurrence. Usually it's Hank who is begging to play with sand, not Johnny. Well, I tried to get them to go back to the car to get the diaper/snack/water bag and the sand toys, but Johnny wasn't having it and took off to the beach. Hank and I had no choice but to follow, armed only with my purse.

Once we got down to the sand, we walked for awhile and found a really cool spot by a bridge (something else Johnny is obsessed with right now) with lots of rocks for throwing. We threw some rocks into the lagoon, then crossed over the bridge a couple of times (not my favorite activity since there was no sidewalk and there were LOTS of cars) and back to the beach to throw rocks. By this point, I had been parked in the 2 hour lot for an hour and forty-five minutes. So I gave the boys a five minute countdown and they threw rocks for five more minutes.

Then I announced, "Okay boys! It's been five minutes. Time to go." Aaaaaaaaand, they weren't having any of it. Now, unfortunately, I don't have a leg to stand on with these declarations because I can't force them both to do something that they don't want to do. I'm not supposed to be lifting 30 pounds, much less 75 (which is what they weigh together). I do try as much as possible to coax/convince/compromise them into doing certain things with me, but this could be an expensive parking ticket if we didn't get moving. So I managed to coax Hank into leaving and just picked up Johnny.

We made it about 30 feet.

Hank got distracted by a large mound of sand and Johnny was screaming to be put down, so I put down Johnny with the agreement that he would walk to the car next to me. I walked back to Hank, explained to him that we have to get moving so I needed to carry him, which he was fine with. I picked up Hank and turned back to meet with Johnny... and he wasn't there. Where did he go, you ask? Back to where the rocks were. And he was having a merry time throwing rocks into the lagoon. So Hank flung himself out of my arms and joined his brother.

Honestly, at this point I'm panicking.

I'm worried about getting a ticket in the timed lot. I have no snacks with me. Or water. None at all. Hank the tank hasn't had anything to eat since the handful of dry cereal he had when we drove in two hours ago and you don't get to be a 2-year-old in the 100th percentile without eating every hour. And I can't carry both boys back to the car. Suddenly, I'm picturing myself having to drag the boys by their arms through the sand back to the car while they scream, cry, and generally melt down from thirst, hunger, and displeasure at being removed from their fun activity. Not something this trying-so-hard-to-be-peaceful parent wants to attempt.

So what do my darling children do as I'm having in inner panic attack? They remove their clothes and start wading in the water.

And at that point, I have two options:

• Option 1- Lose my ever-loving mind over the ridiculous parking ticket that is surely awaiting me, the wet clothes I now have to carry back to the car, and the side eyes I'll be getting from the other beach-goers as my naked sons traipse down the beach.
• Option 2- Laugh and take pictures.

I chose option 2.

The full monty

Johnny picking out the best rock for throwing.

Hank's clothes were completely wet and I didn't have any fresh diapers with me, so he walked back to the car naked. Well, he made me carry him most of the way.

I finally managed to get the boys to go back to the car voluntarily, where John had arrived (after an earlier tearful phone call from me) with Papa John's pizza. We all had some delicious dinner in the van and went home. John let me drive his car so that I could escape the craziness for a little while. He's so awesome.

And an old video of Johnny

I don't take a lot of video of Johnny... well, I do, but on my fancy camcorder and I am HORRIBLE at uploading those. Mostly because my poor old laptop doesn't have the storage capacity for all of those videos. Plus it takes FOREVER to process them.

But that's neither here nor there. Here's a really hilarious video of Johnny that I posted on facebook a month ago that I figured I'd share here in case you don't follow me on facebook.

Typical Conversation with Johnny

I mentioned that Johnny and I have full conversations. Here's an example:

You may have noticed that in the beginning of the video, he's saying "sit" but it sounds an awful lot like a swear word... the word "skunk" is also a tricky one. The first time he said it I was sure he was saying the C-word. Ah, children are so funny. Even when they don't mean to be.

Toddler and temperament

Johnny is a toddler. Not only because he toddles (now he's actually running, but I think that's still considered "toddling"), but also because he has gotten temperamental about stuff. Some things are small, like one day he will eat an entire clamshell of blueberries and the next he will spit them out and use them to finger paint his food tray.

Other things are huge. Like one day he decided he doesn't like to take baths. WHAAAAAAT?!?! This kid LOVES baths! As evidenced here and here. But no longer. Johnny has sworn off baths and it requires serious bribing to get him into the bathtub.

Here's how a typical negotiation session goes:

John: Okay, Johnny, if you take a bath, I'll let you flush the toilet FIVE times. (Holds up five fingers)

Johnny: Five?

John: Yes, FIVE times, but only if you take a bath.

Johnny: Five!

John: Yes, FIVE times.

Johnny looks hesitantly at bathtub, then at toilet and finally gets into the bathtub.

For serious. Getting to flush the toilet was a great way to get Johnny to take a bath... until he kind of got over it. Then it was FIVE flushes before the bath and FIVE flushes after, which is a good enough reward... for now.
 

Chocolate fu manchu

I've been pretty good about sweets throughout my pregnancy in that I only indulge a little bit after dinner. I'm like that normally, so I haven't been using that "eating for two" excuse, which is good. Every now and then, though, I get this overwhelming craving in the afternoon for a little chocolate and I usually don't keep much on hand. Except in the form of chocolate chips because, as my sister-in-law Leslie said in her blog, you should always have all the ingredients necessary for chocolate chip cookies just in case. And I take her advice very seriously.

Anyway, so I was nomming on some chocolate chips and Johnny decides that he wants some too. Normally he isn't interested in what I'm eating, but this day he was. So I gave him one. And then another. And then another. And then a few more... until he developed this cute little mustache:

Well, it's not so much a mustache-shape as a chocolate-dribbling-out-of-the-mouth shape, but I'm not picky about what qualifies as a mustache.

Chicks dig the 'stache, Mom.

This face

melts my heart and makes me laugh hysterically at the same time. I got him this used Fisher Price kitchen set from a mom I know and it has a little "radio" that plays three or four different songs. There's a spicy Latin beat that I will always shake my shoulders to so I can make him laugh, so he will skip all of the other songs and go directly to the Latin beat to watch me dance. It's nice that my kid thinks I'm funny... even if the neighbors think I'm strange.

NBR: The Flowbee Fiasco

So remember when Johnny got his hair cut? And I mentioned that John wanted us to cut it ourselves?

Well, John's clippers broke, unfortunately, but John thought that cutting Johnny's hair with a Flowbee would be easy (win!). Plus, he could use it on his own hair and not leave clippings all over the bathroom counter (double win!). So he ordered a Flowbee.

Of course, the second it arrived, we had to pull it out of the box and try it out. Do you remember the "Suck 'N Cut" from Wayne's World? Yeah, that's what it is. It consists of clippers that are connected to a hose which is then plugged into a vacuum cleaner. The idea is that the vacuum sucks the hair up and the clippers cut it. There are guards that attach to the clippers so you can adjust the length of hair that is sucked up and clipped.

When we pulled it out Johnny was definitely fascinated by the hoses.

John, on the other hand, was ready for the cutting action of the Flowbee to commence!

And here's what we ended up with:

So... he purchased a cheap pair of clippers. And is back to normal... a little short, but  normal.

Needless to say, the Flowbee will be up for sale on Craigslist soon.

New Swing

Our neighbors gave us a swing that they weren't using since their grandchildren are now too big for it. John installed it in our backyard and Johnny LOVES it... as you can see. :)

So much fun!

Good post for a Monday

Every now and then I find something that just tickles Johnny's funny bone. I can do it over and over and over again and he will just laugh until he falls over (which I love). This was one of those things.

Mommy and Johnny play time

It's funny how kids can have all of these great, fun children's toys, but all they want to play with is stuff is off limits (i.e. cell phones, kitchen utensils, cable modem, etc.). Johnny was having a lovely time with the sliding glass door and I felt like I had to get it recorded because his funny faces were too hilarious.

Click here to view on YouTube.

P.S. That mechanical noise you hear in the background? That's John working on the deck... just in case you were wondering.

Johnny's new face

Right before we went to Lake Powell, Johnny started making a cute new face. He scrunches up his little nose and breathes through it heavily and it's so cute! The only issue is the second we bring out the camera, he gets distracted and stops doing it. Still, we have a couple of pictures of it though not the best shots.

I know what you're doing...

So, what is Johnny doing in the above pictures? Give you a hint: this face only showed up after he started eating solid foods....

Roller Coaster Kid

This kid is going to love roller coasters, much to John's delight. I am not one for roller coasters, haunted houses, or horror movies because I hate to be scared. Johnny, on the other hand, is ALL ABOUT IT. If you jump out and scare him, he'll jump and then laugh. Doesn't matter when you do it, it's funny all the time. It's one of those rare things that I've found will tickle his funny bone every time. In the video below, he was sitting on the bed (notice how well he's sitting? He's a master now.) and I was crouching out of his sight, then popping up and saying "Boo!" When I rolled back the video, I noticed that the first part is kind of backlit, so I changed angles for the next shot, but his reaction isn't as good. However, it's still cute. Enjoy.

To watch video on YouTube click here.

A sense of humor

One of the fun things about Johnny is I get to hear him laugh almost every day. He's starting to develop a sense of humor and it is so much fun! However, he will laugh at something one day and then find it totally asinine the next; he's very discriminating. I took this video while I was doing my hair and he was just being a gigglepants, so I had to record it. Enjoy!

To view on YouTube click here