I am so sick of hearing those two little words: Just wait.
When I was pregnant with Johnny and complaining about being tired since my pregnant body wouldn't let me get into a comfortable position, people said, "Just wait until that baby comes, THEN you'll be tired!"
When I managed to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight after only four months of having Johnny people said, "Just wait until you have your second baby! THEN we'll see how easy the weight comes off."
When I was talking about how mobile Johnny was when he learned to crawl and how fun it was, people said, "Just wait until he can walk! THEN we'll see how great you think it is."
When I was pregnant with Hank and complaining about being able to just sit down while taking care of Johnny (because he was a Nazi about people resting at all) people said, "Just wait until you have TWO babies! THEN we'll see how tired you are."
When I would tell people about how I wanted to go without pain meds for Hank's birth people said, "Just wait until you feel those labor pains! Then we'll see how fast you ask for those pain medications."
And a couple of days ago, while talking to another mother of two about how the first two months with two babies haven't been as bad as I was expecting, she said, "Oh, just wait! It'll get worse, I promise you."
I admit that I have said those two little words on occasion, but after that mother made her comment a couple of days ago, the negativity of them has finally clicked.
The people around me, strangers and friends alike, that I have talked to about anxieties, fears, complaints or even what I'm proud of have downplayed my emotions by telling me that my future is a black abyss of exhaustion and frustration. That the only good thing I have going for me is that this moment doesn't suck nearly as much is the next moment will.
I refuse to believe that.
So when the pregnant mom with her 15-month-old girl asked me what it is like to have two babies so close together, because she'll be there in two short months, I told her that it hasn't been as bad as everyone told me it would be. Yes, I'm tired, but it's not worse than the exhaustion I felt with the first one and it's outweighed by how much less your second baby cries because you know what you're doing. She walked away with a smile.
The next time you're about to tell someone, "just wait [insert snarky comment here]"... just don't. Say something positive, you'll feel better about it.
Has anyone else had that "just wait" thing thrown in their face?
That positive attitude is one of the countless reasons I love you Kelly!
ReplyDeleteIt's natural for strangers to try and bring you down when their own insecurities are not reflected in your smiling face.
good for you!!
ReplyDeletei don't have kids, but it just seems like a negative attitude in general. when you put all those examples together it sounds so defeatist, like these other parents have decided that because of their own experience, life will beat you no matter what you do, and that parenting is exhausting and unrewarding. that seems like an awful way to go through life or to care for children!
it shouldn't be about knowing more than other people [isn't that where those comments come from--people think they know more than you?] but about sharing what you know, what's worked for you, in positive ways, and encouraging others! ugh. you are an awesome parent and i am glad you have thought about this, because it seems like a common response to talking about parenting problems and it shouldn't be!
hugs!