Let's talk about poop.

*WARNING: This post is not for the squeamish or faint of heart. Bodily functions are described herein and are NOT pretty.*

Now that you've been properly warned, it's time for a poop story. I feel that I've done a pretty good job keeping this blog cute and fuzzy with lots of adorable pictures of Johnny and you know what? It's time to shake that up. And what better way to shake things up than with too much information?

Before bedtime, Johnny's routine pretty much goes like this: bath, crawl around nursery naked, diaper and pajamas, say night-night to various objects outside, nurse, hum two lullabies while being held in the dark, into the crib with his blankie. Can you guess which part of that routine went awry? Yes, the crawling around naked part. Surprise, surprise. Usually, he will just explore his room babbling like crazy while trying to pull down the blinds or the curtains, pull things out of drawers, close his hands in said drawers, etc, etc. Well, this time, he was standing up using the small table I have next to the glider when he got that look. Yes, THAT look. I looked around for anything to catch the end result of THAT look and found his towel from bath time. I shoved the towel underneath him just in time to receive a shockingly large, adult-looking poop. Had I not seen it come out of my little 10-month-old with my own eyes (and believe me, I was RIGHT THERE) I would not have believed he produced it.

After Johnny had finished his bowel movement, I was patting myself on the back for being so quick-witted in picking up the towel and preventing any stains from marring our carpet. I picked Johnny up to move him to the changing table and before I knew it, he had a hold on the soiled towel and was flinging it forward and backward. And yes, we ended up with a nice scattering of poop on the previously-un-poop-stained carpet.

So what did I do next? I called John upstairs and he busted out some latex gloves and a scooper to clean up the mess for me. You can also thank him for telling me not to take a picture of said mess, because I was so ready to run downstairs and grab the camera.

Ah, parenthood. Who knew that such an episode would bring John and me ever closer in our relationship? If you had told me four years ago that poop would someday be part of the glue that held me and my spouse together, I would have said "bullshit"... Oh yes, pun intended.